Baby Z is 8 weeks old as of last Friday. This photo was taken last Friday, 14th Sept 2012. These 8 weeks were probably the most challenging and overwhelming 8 week ever but it has been so rewarding. Seeing baby Z growing day by day gives me such great fulfillment that the pain that we went through seemed to disappear when we look at him.
Baby Z went for his check up with Dr. Eric on 5th Sept at 7 weeks old and I was so proud that he is growing well. He was 6.43kg and 62cm tall. He was in the 97th percentile of the USA growth charts for boys. SJ predicts that Z is going to be huge and really tall. I just hope he won't be too tall and we have to custom make all his clothes and bed! :S
So much to update and there are so much things to do: house renovations is almost done! We're all so excited because we're moving to our very own home really soon :)))))) We applied for a Filipino domestic helper and she has arrived on the 15th Sept. We will pick her from the agency after we get her medical report results next week. I went back to the office for the very first time last Wednesday. Felt good to focus and concentrate on what's happening in the office for a few hours without any baby cries interruption.
Photo taken with Ah Mah on 10th July 2011.
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On a sadder note, my dearest Ah Mah (paternal grandmother) passed away today, 17th Sept 2012, Monday at 7.20am. She was 88. Was nursing baby Z when I received a phone call from Uncle Fabian at about 7.30am that Ah Mah had some difficulty in breathing and probably took her last breath at about 7am. The moment I heard that, a cloud of sadness came over me even though I have been anticipating this moment for quite a while. Ah Mah's health condition has worsen so much in this year. She couldn't recognize me since few years ago; I had to remind her my name every time I saw her and she would remember quite easily. She has been calling SJ as Ah Fung for a while. I was probably the grandchild she remembered the most because I was the first grandchild that she took care since I was a newborn followed by my sister. We spent a lot of valuable time together at home when my parents had to work. I was very clingy to Ah Mah and slept in the same room as her. She told me many bedtime stories that I still remember until today; Yung Ka Mah - the name of a woman who eats little children and a story about a pretty genie/spirit that appeared from banana trees. I didn't know any standard Cinderella bedtime stories or nursery rhymes until I started kindergarten. I could still remember the times when I was a little girl, Ah Mah would walked me and we sat at the bus stop watching cars passed by probably for hours because I was bored/difficult at home. Things were simpler (no ipad or computers) and definitely safer then.
Ah Mah was a very strong woman; single-handed brought up 3 kids as a young widow as her husband passed away when my father, being the youngest of 3 was just a baby. From what I gathered, she had a very tough life being a woman in her era. She was denied of any education just because she was born as a girl; she had 2 brothers and these 2 brothers were sent to school back in the 1930-40's and they were all university graduates. My grand uncles were lecturers in the university and spoke fantastic english while Ah Mah was illiterate. She had to slave over her brothers at home because her family thought that she would be married off one day and would benefit the husband's family instead. But little did my great-grandma know that in her dying days, it was Ah Mah that took care of her instead of her successful sons. I have heard stories that Ah Mah was arranged to marry my grandfather during the Japanese occupation and after my grandfather passed away, Ah Mah worked as a rubber tapper to bring up her children. If she had some form of education, her life would have been so different.
Ah Mah was a quiet simple lady and she had brought up all her children to have these traits: understanding, friendly, kind and patient. These are the similarities that I noticed in my dad and my uncle and aunty. She realised that education is important and all her three children, including her daughter had the opportunity to study. Ah Mah hardly had any health problems; her blood pressure and sugar level has been good all these years until age started catching up on her. Ah Mah lost her independence about 5 years ago. She had a fall about a year ago and had to be wheel-chair bound since then. She lost so much weight and began to lose her mental capacity. First, it was the memory, followed by the ability to speak. Ah Mah stopped speaking since beginning of this year and it saddened me so much when I looked into her huge eyes knowing that she could quite hear and understand me but couldn't express herself. The last time I saw her was before I deliver, in June and I broke into tears when I saw Ah Mah's body was restrained to the wheel-chair with a cloth because she could not sit up and kept slipping down from the chair. It was then I knew Ah Mah would be leaving us really soon.
It is really sad that Ah Mah didn't get to meet Baby Z, her first great grandson. She would be so proud of me. I thought of bringing baby Z to meet her when Baby Z is older, at about 6 months old. The only way I console myself is that Ah Mah wouldn't be able to recognize or know baby Z anyway. One thing for sure is when Baby Z is much older, I'll definitely tell him a lot about his grandparents and family history. I want him to know his roots and there are many important people with colourful history that came before he was born.
Ah Mah will be deeply missed and may she rest in peace.
